What a Good Bridesmaid Should and Should Not Do

Has your best friend asked you to be her bridesmaid? Well, congratulations, as it’s a huge honor your friend has conferred upon you. Brides go through an amazingly transitional stage in their life. She trusts you to be there for her on her big day and you mustn’t let her down. However, being a bridesmaid is not to be taken lightly because you have to put in a lot of effort. While it sounds fun to be a bridesmaid, the job isn’t without some important responsibilities.

A bridesmaid duty covers everything from offering emotional support to holding her bouquet on the big day. In return, you will get to enjoy a blossoming friendship and amazing bridesmaid gifts. Among all the stress and chaos, many bridesmaids may unintentionally break protocol and basic etiquette. Whether you’ve been a bridesmaid before or not, here are some things a good bridesmaid should and should not do.

What To Do: Ask the bride what she wants

Weddings are stressful enough on their own, so strive to remove any confusion and chaos from the situation. Once you agree to be a bridesmaid, always ask the bride about her preferences. Does she want to eschew tradition by canceling the bachelorette party and the bridal shower? Or does she prefer to have the wedding in the traditional manner? Is she dreaming of a destination wedding or one closer to home? Will the couple pay for the ceremonies or does she expect her bridesmaids to contribute?

It’s essential to discuss the expectations of the bride so you can follow her wishes. Start the wedding planning as soon as the bridesmaids are chosen. You should also be vocal about the responsibilities you can’t handle. While the decisions would be taken by general consensus among bridesmaids, it ultimately depends on what the bride wants.

What Not To Do: Complain about the bride’s decisions or your responsibilities

It doesn’t matter if you don’t like your bridesmaid dress. As this is your friend’s wedding, it should only be about what she wants. If you are unhappy with any of her decisions, you can express your opinion in a calm and considerate manner. However, don’t take it personally if she goes against your views. Comply with her choices wholeheartedly – being bitter and resentful will ruin the entire experience for everybody involved. After all, supporting the bride is one of the bridesmaid’s most vital responsibilities.

What To Do: Respect the bridesmaids’ chain of command

Planning the wedding ceremonies with other bridesmaids should be a cordial collaboration, not a cold war. You can do your part to ensure that by respecting the bridesmaids’ chain of command. Incidentally, the bride would have appointed a maid of honor. Naturally, this person enjoys this particular position because they are the closest to the bride and knows her very well.

Traditionally, the maid of honor takes the lead in all aspects of wedding planning. They are responsible to incorporate the bride’s choices during the planning process. So, if you have contrasting ideas, express them in a nice manner and don’t get offended if they don’t implement it. Ultimately, remember that everyone is present because they care about the bride and her wedding.

What Not To Do: Make assumptions about the bride’s preferences

During the planning process, there will be many moments where you might not know exactly what the bride wants. Instead of making assumptions, talk to the bride and clear your doubts. For example, if you want to sit next to a particular person during the wedding, check with the bride before considering it finalized. Don’t confirm the seating arrangements without consulting the bride. Otherwise, you might end up creating an unwanted surprise during an already chaotic event.

What To Do: Be pleasant and compliment the bride

As this will be an exciting and anxious time for your friend, the bride-to-be will be nervous about her wedding planning. After all, there is so much to do, and everyone from her future mother-in-law to her own parents will be weighing in on the decisions. That’s why, she will be relying on her bridesmaids to keep her calm, cool, and collected.

So, your demeanor and behavior has to be approving, pleasant, and agreeable during the entire wedding planning process. Especially when your friend seems frantic, be positive, stay supportive, and assure her that everything will go on perfectly. Trust us, your friend will really appreciate it.

What Not To Do: Become jealous of the bride

Becoming jealous of the bride is one of the worst things a bridesmaid can do. The bride has invited you to be a major part of one of the biggest moments in her life. This is her time to shine and be happy as she is getting hitched to the love of her life.

This is the time to celebrate her happiness and love, not exhibit your envy for the success of her love life. Even if you do feel envious, don’t tell or show it to the bride. Instead, be there for her and support her throughout the wedding process. After all, that’s what good friends do!

What To Do: Offer useful suggestions and constructive criticism

Yes, we have mentioned that you should go along with the bride’s wishes. But that doesn’t mean you should keep quiet. You are a bridesmaid because the bride values your friendship and opinions. Your friend doesn’t want you to be a silent spectator; she wants you to be an active planner. So, speak your mind and offer suggestions at the appropriate time. For example, don’t say the bakery produces bad cakes after the bride gives the deposit for the wedding cake.

It’s also wrong to push your opinions and ideas on the bride. If she wants something done in a particular manner, respect her feelings and execute her wishes accordingly. The opportune time to take decisions is when the bride seems too stressed. If that happens, give her all the options and let her choose what she wants.

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