If you are thinking of asking your significant other to marry you, read this list first. There are things that you need to think about before getting down on one knee, as this decision will impact the rest of your life. Make sure you are doing it for all of the right reasons.
1. Make sure you are both ready to get married and are on the same page.
Most marriages end because one or both parties were not ready to make a lifetime commitment, even if they thought they were. The first question you want to ask yourself is if you are in it for the long haul. If you are not sure or hesitate on the answer, you should wait before becoming engaged. Ask yourself if you want to marry this person or if you feel pressured to? If you do not want to marry them, it is best to wait to take this step or consider why you do not want to marry them.
2. Discuss how to Handle Finances
Finances are one of the leading causes of divorce. You and your significant other need to sit down together and discuss this before considering marriage. You need to ask a lot of questions and agree on the main points. Some of the main questions you need to discuss are listed below.
Are you going to have joint or separate accounts?
If you have separate accounts, you will need to discuss who will pay for what bills. Splitting the amount right down the middle is not always the fairest way to handle things, especially if one person makes a significantly higher amount than the other. If the agreement is to split the bills, and you buy what you want, you may run into hidden resentments. If one person is a saver while the other likes to spend money, this may lead to arguments.
If you agree to have a joint account, decide who will make sure the bills are paid and which one of you makes sure money is put in the savings accounts. It is best if not just one of you takes care of all of the money; this can cause the other person to wonder where the money is going and will lead to heated discussions.
Discuss any debts you both may have
In this day and age, individuals tend to start having debt earlier than many years ago. This is primarily due to how expensive college is, vehicle upkeep, and housing costs. If either of you has accumulated debt, it is necessary to discuss the amount and how you both plan on getting out of debt. It is also essential to determine if your significant other’s debt becomes yours once you are married.
Set financial goals together
Perhaps you both want to go on a great vacation or buy a new car. Set up strategies for how you both can save money to meet this goal. When you set these goals together, it helps both of you understand how the other person deals with money. A bonus to setting goals is that you can keep each other accountable.
3. Talk to Your Significant Others’ Parents
Talking to the parents may sound outdated, but you would be surprised at how important it will be to both sets of parents. It does not have to be the outdated version where you ask permission to marry her. It can simply be a way for them to feel respected and an essential part of your life.
4. Pick out the Engagement Ring
Choosing the perfect engagement ring is the most critical and challenging part of the engagement process. They are a sign of love and a lifetime commitment. Every time your significant other looks at that ring, it will be a reminder of that special day when you proposed. When shopping for an engagement ring, you want to bring someone with you, preferably a friend or family member. There is an old saying that you should spend three months’ salary on the engagement ring. Of course, this isn’t a written law and it’s most certainly not about the money; the main focus is to get your future fiance a ring they’ll cherish forever.
5. How and Where to Propose
Another question you need to think about is how to propose. Do you want a formal proposal where you get down on one knee or something unique? Knowing what each other’s likes and dislikes are is vital in this step. If your significant other does not like a lot of attention, it is not a good idea to propose in a way that would be embarrassing.
There are many places where you could propose. Some people like to do it where they first met, first kissed, or somewhere that holds a special meaning for the both of them. Some couples like to plan a vacation or getaway to propose. No matter what you choose, it will be right for the two of you.
Getting married should not be a spur-of-the-moment decision. If the idea of marriage is not thought through, it may lead to a costly divorce later on. Take the time to discuss the important topics that help to make a marriage work before you actually propose.